I'm just not very good at math
Sigh

my morals

Okay, the memory is fresh in my head. This is definitely not exaggerated in any way, but an actual and very accurate recount of what happened. okay so its 12.14am now, and the roads are just crawling with retarded drivers.

I came across one such retarded driver in a black mitsibushi who nearly hit me down while I was making my way across a traffic junction back from McDonald's just now (well technically it was 'yesterday') I could swear to you, his bumper came just centimeters away from me, and it even swept past my legs when it went past, and I had make a special effort to move out of his path. It was a green man.

I was darn pissed, i mean, who wouldn't be pissed? the dude just endangered my life goodness sake. I would say he could've easily broken my legs if hadn't noticed that fucking car coming up at me from behind. (how am i gonna do taekwondo without my legs huh? lol).

So instinctively, i pointed the holy finger of Zeus at him as he turned onto his road ahead (you guys probably know my impulsive behaviour, to me it was like, action - reaction, a natural reaction lol .. zzz, and i don't care whoever it is -a dangerous bad habit I'm still trying to kick- ). And that fucker -a 50+ year old chinese-dad-next-door- halted his car just infront of the traffic light (which is illegal i think), and came out to confront me. He must have been too aw struck by the beauty of my holy finger of Zeus LOL.

I was like, "Ah fuck, did he have to come out?"
"this is gon' be troublesome", But what else was i expecting after giving him a piece of my holy finger huh? LOL.

So he came out and pushed me hard (more like hit, on my shoulder/neck barely missing my face lol) and was like "you playing some game?" and "you trying to be funny with me boy?" I can't put in words how badly I had the urge to bash his ugly face. His 'hit first talk later' attitude, and after giving me an unsuspecting "first blood hit". I mean, I'm not the kind of person who'd just stand there and be someone's punching bag after being wronged. But it was like trying to say 1000 words and do 1000 things in one second, and all the words jumbled up in my cerebrum, failing to construct a proper sentence, failing to generate a proper reaction. lol.

All the hard hours of taekwondo and muay thai and boxing, all that sweat, presented itself like an oppotunity to test my blade against his sword. LOL. but i didnt of course. Partly because I was alone (I mean, just because I learn martial arts doesn't necessarily mean that i could easily beat the shit out of any regular guy on the streets, because anything can happen in a moment).

Well, I could've hit back because he initiated physical contact first, i could stand by it as my form of self defense, and it certainly felt like a green flag. At this point I'm already considering returning a 'low brow' to the guy. But no, i just reminded myself to keep my cool, and behave maturely. So i just gave him a polite "sir you nearly hit me on a fucking green man there". And the guy, still obviously raged after being enlightened by my unsuspecting holy finger, gave a faggot "i let you walk across the traffic light, just be quiet and walk boy." Judging from his body language, he was probably hoping I'd hit back to end the stalemate and just brawl our way through a fight. He wants it (seriously, from his body language all hyped and ready to go).

I cannot describe the kind of rage that burned my insides after hearing a response like that from a driver like that. But i just gave him a "Okay, you win sir, bye" and parted ways after a really lousy and awkward staredown.

Firstly, the guy certainly had one son-of-a-bitch immature behaviour. I know what i did was the right thing to do (not the part about my holy middle finger of Zeus, but as in, by not retalliating back). Anyway, when i reflect about why i didnt hit him back, i realize its like, just because you've been wronged at, doesnt give you the right to commit another wrong doing in return. Gotta learn to put our ego aside sometimes right?

But i do feel like shit as i sit here typing this post out, because I just took a hit for something insanely wrong reason, and didnt return a truely deserving one for an insanely correct reason. Then again, maybe i shouldn't have enlightened the fag with my holy finger of god. But he nearly broke my legs there, so, jesus, he deserved it :)

I'm just really glad that I held firmly onto my morals today (well, techically yesterday). I fight as a sport because I have passion for it's beauty. There is no beauty in a street fight. No pride, no glory. On the streets I've got nothing to prove, no reason, no justification, and i dont need to fight because its wrong. If i ever let myself into a street fight, then there'd be no difference between me and a tug.

Next time
I'll skip the statue of liberty pose
and adopt the stanford raffles pose.

Okay, i really need to share this.



FREAKING beautiful capoeira double back spinning kick KO. Its different from taekwondo's one, but hey its just beautiful. Coming from such a big guy. Hands down man. And i thought capoeira was just useless bullshit. haha, i need to learn this kind of back spin kick.

I got a wonderful surprise when i stepped on the weighing scale this morning. I've lost 4 kilos in a period of 5 days !! :D:D:D:D And the thing is, I eat McDonald's and Burger King's simultaneously nearly EVERYDAY (seriously, because I study there everyday). Looks like my morning 6km / 30 laps swim thing is working well for me. Oh, and I can NEARLY do a proper split :D, just that few more stubborn centimeters more to go. The thing is, I can sit flat on the floor, but my legs aren't exactly 180 degrees apart.

On the flipsyde, it could be the exam stress that caused me to lose weight :x. Anyway, losing weight is always a good thing for me :x - except last year when I lost 4kilos in 4hours and was hospitalized with diarrhea (that was a badass experience).

Anyway, if you don't like vulgarities, then dont read the last paragraph. I'm just gonna let off some steam. like it or lump it i guess :\

Screw everything else. I'm surrounded by a loads of fuckers everyday. Fuckers that push my misery way beyond it's rightful threshold, without even knowing it. I cannot see a fucking reason why I should summit myself to you in this hierarchy, because you don't deserve my respect, none of it you fuck. You never cared, and will never care, so i don't think i really need to give you that tiny fucking thing called respect, because I'd rather save it for someone more deserving. Wake up your fucking idea, you (you people) need to stop being selfish pieces of fucks and start being more considerate. Open your bloody eyes and take a look at the mess that you're (or, you people) oblivious to. Your (you people's) fucking life itself is pathetic and I cannot fucking stand it.

I hope my next post will be more delightful. Bye bye.

Hello people. I'm working on a 'self - rescue plan' lol. Prelims was a disaster and i might actually NOT get away with slacking this time. So far i absolutely flopped 2 subjects .. and counting .. T.T I'm working on finishing one topic per week for each subject all the way for the remaining 61 days until my alvls. So, its no movies, no going out, no pool or any other shit like that, for the next 61 days :(

Heres a peek at my daily schedule for the holidays so far.

Wake up and counter strike awhile
Breakfast
6km run / 1.5km swim (30laps)(alternate days each)
Lunch
Study
home work out -15mins- [crunches, push ups, leg raises, planks and finally, my futile attempts to do splits :(][ or just shadow boxing with weights]
Dinner
Study
Sleep

I have so many things on my wishlist which I'll probably buy with my pay after alvls, when i get myself a part time job, or with my NS pay
- Sport bike
- polar heart rate watch
- New clothes
- CAPS, lots of caps (to cover the bald head when/if i enlist next year)
- my own laptop (not so urgent)
- Pay for Adidas sundown 2010 :x
.
.
.
and the list goes on.