Well this is probably my last post for 2009! Lets see, where do i begin ? I dug through my archives and found the new year's resolutions that i posted here at the very start of this year !

Here they are

• Mug hard (its something i don't do often) contrary to what you think, I really tried very hard to mugggg this year.
• Score A-A-B-B for Alvls, or at least an A-B-B-B >.< - the Bs being mainly my chem and maths, if worst, bio.
• Be a finisher of 42km at Adidas Sundown Marathon 2009
• Be a finisher of 21km at Standard Chartered Marathon 2009 (well, i ran the 21km Army Half Marathon instead .. hahah)
• Run at least the first 20km continuously
• Get at least 4points for 2.4km.
• Get at least a gold for this year's fitness test.
• Visit Thailand at the end of the year for at least a week long of Muay Thai Training at FAIRTEX / RAWAII Muay Thai / or Por Pramuk gym.

I'm glad to say that only two things I've not been able to do, was to visit Thailand for my week long muay thai training, and the part on my A-A-B-B results. HAHAH, now, AABB is definitely not going to appear on my results slip, thats for sure.

What a year ! despite the alvl horrors, statistically, 2009 has been good for me isnt it?

This year i covered 78km of race mileage in total ! summing up all the mileage i picked up in my pre-race preparations, I think covered somewhere near a total of 120 - 150km in running mileage in 2009!!! Now, to a pro runner, 120-150km is probably peanuts. But ! its the 1st year, out my 18 years on this planet, that I've ran so much! Gotta say, pat me on the shoulder because im proud of myself ! heh !

But this year hasn't just been about running. This year has been about alot more. I feel much more confident and improved in tkd now, as compared to the start of the year. I've been working at it and trying to get better week after week, and I'm happy about that ! Practice makes perfect !

Whatever you do, running, swimming, biking, tkd, math, keep doing it over and over again, and you'll only get better and better, and nothing less ! And thats the most important thing I've learnt in 2009. LOL.

I hope when the alvl results are out next year, I'd get grades good enough to bring me where i want to go [physiotherapy , or osteopathy in an overseas university - most likely not going to happen, cus osteopathy is nearly equivalent to a medicine degree lol]. (OH I'D PRAY SO HARD !!! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE DONT LET ME RETAIN IN JJC!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH.) I've got a really pessimistic feeling towards results day. I just hope nothing fucking absurd happens !! arghhhhhhhhhhh. fingers crossed, i really don't wanna retain in JJC, but if i do, then i have only myself to blame .. lol . SHIT man!

So, this concludes the chapter on 2009 in my life. Time to write the next chapter, bye bye and merry Christmas people!

Sick of pretending. But whats me and whats not? whats real and whats fake? I dont know

I wish it were more comprehensible, this feeling.

:)

Timing is very important when you want to compete at the very top level of a sport. You have to take into account your fitness, your age, the amount of time you spent training and all.

Heres the scenario.

AMBITION
If you have an ambition, you chase it right? You sacrifice things in life to pursue what you want. And thats what I want to do. I'll post it here, my ambition is to fight at the top level one day. Competitive taekwondo, or Muay thai.

TIMING
Most competitive fighters today have been training in a sport since young, as early as 7 years old, and age between 20 - 30 years old when finally fighting competitively in their prime. Thats sums up to around 13 or 14 years of training experience in a sport, before going competitive.

BEHIND TIME
I only started Taekwondo and Muay thai at 17 years old, and currently, i train only once a week in taekwondo. I'm clearly behind time if I want to fight competitively in future. When I'm not in training, i work on my physical conditioning, and when I'm in training, i give my 150% to make sure I'm constantly improving, hoping that in the near future, I'll make it at the competitive level in the sport. But the reality of the matter is, all the effort I put in to make myself technically sharper, and physically stronger, its not enough. Because, 1 training session of 3-4 hours a week is nothing compared to those who have started building foundations as early as 7 or 8 years old.

SUPPORT
I dont train everyday. I dont have a sandbag to practice on at home, and I dont have people who share a similar interest / ambition around me. Furthermore, my family members dont even give a shit about taekwondo. Honestly, its a very demoralizing environment, and its very hard for me to improve at a pace i want / need to.

THE RESCUE PLAN
Thats why, during my 5 month holiday before enlisting into NS, I want to invest my time in a Muay Thai training camp for around a week in Thailand (http://www.rawaimuaythai.com). There, I'm entitled to 6 hours of pure Muay Thai training a day, continuously everyday. And when I'm not training, I can practice on the sandbag, or do some physical conditioning at the gym. There, I can get trainers to help me correct my technical mistakes, learn new techniques, and improve my game. There, i can focus everything on a routine of eating - sleeping - training for a week. Basically, its the environment that i want to experience. and its the environment there that I wana pay to go to. Yes, Muay thai is an entirely different martial art from taekwondo. Even though Muay thai training is different, fighting is fighting. Fighting instincts is a universal language, so if i improve my muay thai, i improve my taekwondo.

And as usual, no one around me approves. Instead, of a caring and understanding yes, they tell me loads of shit. They list down a 101 fuckingly absurd reasons why i shouldn't go,

• Dont go to these kind of places in thailand! theres black magic!
• Those thai women are good for nothing
• Im not free to go there w you (yeah right, you just booked a trip to thailand for shopping w ur fucking friend.)
• You can train here in singapore.
• Theres no promotion on flight tickets to go there (not like a normal ticket would kill you, especially when its a budget airlines flight to thailand)

And as you can see, I've clearly illustrated how clearly un-supportive my parent is when I want to pursue my interests. I always try to explain, and they always don't give a shit. Honestly, its not always easy to be motivated, when people around you dont give a shit about you and your interest.

When i train hard and come back tired or injured (from sparring), they don't ask how i got hit, why i got hit, what mistake I made, but they tell me, "you asked for it."

Back to basics :(

I'm definitely not as physically sharp as before. My kicks aren't loaded with as much power as I'd expected them to have, and on top of that, they're alot slower than before. 4 months of endless stationary study - eat - sleep repetitions, and thats the result you get.

My physical condition is probably worst now than ever before. Its back to square one for me. Looks like I'm going to need to build up my conditioning from scratch now, sigh, its really demoralizing you know.

Right! I'm trying to share a value that drives me forward in running and taekwondo. Okay but this paragraph definitely seems out of the ordinary in this post. I've been sitting here thinking of a related introduction for this F***ing paragraph, but i cant. hahah. so here it is.

People should really learn to take things to the next level, always pushing for one extra kick, one extra pull up, one extra km, one extra lap, one extra set in the gym. If its 10 pull ups now, then its at least 11 pull ups the next time, and 12 .. 13 .. so on. Thats how I got to 29 consecutive pull ups, finished 42.195km, and improved my game in taekwondo, all within the training span of one year. (Although i cannot say the same for academics .. LOL ..) Of course all this is easier said than done. But all it takes is an ambition, a target or a goal to accomplish something of the top level, to change your perception of "torture" to a "no - pain - no gain" mentality. And that mentality is really the driving force and motivation that will eventually take it to the next level.

haha, whats wrong w me ?
stop dreaming ..
its not gonna happen