motivation

Nobody said being a diver was going to be a walk in the park, and I expected tough times. Every week just pushes you one step further. Every week fucks you up a little more than the last. The hardest part isn't about the physical stress or mental fucking, thats all part and parcel of the package and I can understand that. The hardest part of this all is when you lie down on your bed at night and think about all the fucked up things that's happened, and still say "I still want this." To be honest, there were a couple of moments this week when i just felt like 'what the fuck man, screw this shit, this is fucked up, why the fuck am i doing this shit for? ... etc etc etc .'

But no, I'm not giving up. Some things in life, you've only got one shot at it, are you going to sieze the opportunity? or just let it slip right through your fingers.The choice is yours to make. I choose not to live a life of regrets. The only way I'm going to stop trying is if i drop dead.

.that was my biggest regret.

fucking hell

Am I getting lost in my dreams?
Are you unreachable to me?
Cause these butterflies just won't go away

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

Who i really am.

Me.

Tough times let you know who you really are. It shows you first hand where your mental and physical limits are, how weak or how strong you are. It shows you what your true character is like. It tells you where your strengths lie, what your weaknesses are. It measures the amount of mental steel in your mind, and tests your motivation and determination to the very core of your soul.

Unless you've been through hell and back, there are some lessons you just can't learn.

Aside from all the jokes and crap that I spill off from my mouth, I, am a very quiet person actually. If you've seen me 100% focused on my training , in running, or tkd, you'd notice that. When I'm stressed, in training or whatever leadership position, I'm quiet because I'm in a world of my own. I shut off everything irrelevant, and try to stay 150 % focused on the situation at hand before I respawn myself in reality. There, a glimpse of the true me.

Hello civilisation, I'm back. I'm sitting here looking at the screen, and I cant put to words how the last 2 weeks was for me.

I've got a whole lot of new buddies :D, awesome cabin mates, and awesome cabin neighbours. Haha, they're the bunch of dudes which crack sick jokes that make me laugh my ass off.

Then theres the down side. The physical training here is OUT OF THIS WORLD, seriously. I did things I've never done before, which include

• Running until im so tired that I run like a bloody slut
• Make orgasmic sounds during PT
• Let off screams during PT that don't even sound like a human scream

A few times we've been hammered really hard, but at night when I get some time to close my eyes and think, it makes me feel like this is all going to be worth it. Tough times build tough men. Tough men stand out in tough times. (:, the next few months will test the core of my very soul .. and I will try my best every time !