Alright. pressures' been building up in my head. I guess i'll just blog about it here to let off some steam. Nothings' provoked me into writing this or anything, but i guess i need to shout out to chill up once in awhile. Afterall, everyone needs to chill up once in awhile right? we're not robots, we're humans.
I'm begining to feel the impact of a chain of overlooked factors leading up to now. In recent times, its been getting increasingly difficult and harder for me to fuel my optimistic perspective on things.
I'm doing all i can, i really am, and i have always been. But the limelight never seems to shine. The limelight never seems to do justice to my efforts. Looking from a neutral perspective, i guess anyone would say im incapable, or ineffective, incorrect, inefficient, insufficient and other negative bullshit. But the unforgiving fact is, Life's a bitch, and its been fucking me around. Surely I've made mistakes and i dont have a problem accepting that, but more importantly my luck's been unbelievably unforgiving, and its shattering my brick solid confidence into nano sized dust.
Along the fine line that seperates my optimistic outlook from pesimissim, i refuse to think that im not the best canidate for the job. But in these calm yet busy times (irony isnt it?), it feels like i'm running a one man show on stage. Its like a staged drama performance, except, im playing nearly all the characters in one go. And even before the show is ending, it feels as though the curtains have begun to close halfway through the performance.
And as the show begins to draw to an end, I guess i'll just have to go commando. - "all the way."
I'm begining to feel the impact of a chain of overlooked factors leading up to now. In recent times, its been getting increasingly difficult and harder for me to fuel my optimistic perspective on things.
I'm doing all i can, i really am, and i have always been. But the limelight never seems to shine. The limelight never seems to do justice to my efforts. Looking from a neutral perspective, i guess anyone would say im incapable, or ineffective, incorrect, inefficient, insufficient and other negative bullshit. But the unforgiving fact is, Life's a bitch, and its been fucking me around. Surely I've made mistakes and i dont have a problem accepting that, but more importantly my luck's been unbelievably unforgiving, and its shattering my brick solid confidence into nano sized dust.
Along the fine line that seperates my optimistic outlook from pesimissim, i refuse to think that im not the best canidate for the job. But in these calm yet busy times (irony isnt it?), it feels like i'm running a one man show on stage. Its like a staged drama performance, except, im playing nearly all the characters in one go. And even before the show is ending, it feels as though the curtains have begun to close halfway through the performance.
And as the show begins to draw to an end, I guess i'll just have to go commando. - "all the way."
I dont give a dam what bullshit people think about me, but at least this way, i know i fought "all the way". I'll have no regrets.
but at this rate,
its still not clear how
my optimism would hold up
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