Alright, I've been typing, and deleting, and typing, and deleting because i cant find a suitable opening for this post. I wanted to talk about training and training and running and swimming and camp life. But yeah, its all been posted before.


I mean, what can i say ? Everyday in camp is just about running and swimming and push ups and sit ups and doing chin ups. In fact, I think im addicted to this lifestyle that's been painfully programmed into my neuro-systems. Saturdays and Sundays are supposed to be my rest days. But here I am, all my legs in my shorts, running in the sun and hitting the gym. I met some long lost buddies in the gym just now, and they went :" in camp train so much, now weekend still wanna train??? mad ah!" (hazwin and hazwan). And thats what got me thinking.


Okay, so I'm running around 9 minutes and 53 seconds for my 2.4km (or 1.5mile) timed run, which i think isnt too bad for a couch potato like me. My whole 19 years on this planet, I've never ran below 11 minutes and 20seconds, but here i am, just 2 months in the military and I'm already running below 10minutes. Anyway, the standard for 2.4km runs here is quite high. Most of my batch boys tell me they cant run for nuts. They say "awww i dont have the running genes." and "ohhh im not a runner. I totally suck". And well, they're good liars.


They run anywhere from 8minutes and 19 seconds, to 9minutes and 20 seconds on average. And hell that's fast. Thats sprinting the whole distance !! See? dont blame me for doing extra trainings on my days off . lol .


Everyday i sleep feeling tired and sore. Well im not complaining, instead, its a good sign really. Feeling tired and sore assures me that when i wake up the next morning, when the pain goes away, I'm a stronger person than i was the previous day. They say : pain is weakness leaving the body, and that statement definitely has some truth to it :) !

i quote the navy seals : The only easy day was yesterday. Because everyday here is a day of physical torture. Be it during physical training , or during our daily runs, or our pool swim, it always pushes your physical and mental limits one level further.

And while I'm getting physically and mentally stronger here every week, i lose a part of me that belongs to the outside world. Yes I've made brothers out of my friends in camp. Brothers that've been through the thick and thin by my side. But I can't help but feel that I'm drifting proportionally further from the things i've used to love.


I guess this is a transition, a new beginning. I hate beginnings. Because as i begin to write the next chapter in my life, I inevitably put an end to the previous chapter. I hate to say it. But i guess i'm drifting away from the old life i used to have. Taekwondo, friends, school, and you. Its sad, but thats the hard cold reality. It ain't always sunshine and rainbows everday.


I wish i could've made it clear earlier, the way i felt about you. But here i am moving on with my life, and there you are, moving on with yours perfectly the way it was. I came into your life for one short moment, and all that's left are my footprints, thats the reality of the situation. i guess you'll carry on with your life, oblivious to the feelings i kept inside me.

Think of me when you're out,
when you're out there
I'll beg you nice from my knees
And when the world treats you way too fairly
Well it's a shame I'm a dream
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you