Next phase

Alright ! Today, i officially completed the last day of the land training phase of my course.

Next up, Combat Diver Course :D , which will last me the next 3-4 months. After being put through the 1 month of land training, I've come to really appreciate the fact that I'm in the navy. I mean, army guys go through alot of shit, seriously. I can't help thinking to myself: "thank god I no longer need to high kneel on the rocky ground, or high kneel in a muddle of chocolate mud, cause it's seriously not fun at all, if you have 20kilos of shit in your bag pack. I also find myself sooo dam fortunate that I no longer need to spend another night constipated in a jungle, nor having to ever need to lie down in bugs infested waist level vegetation (cause you can feel lots of tiny things crawling all over you.)

See, in the navy's diving unit, we're waterborne. Yeah sure theres tough times, but I rather have my tough times in the form of PT, than jungle torture.

Buddies

Hammering

This week's one of the most shag weeks I've had in camp. On Monday we got the shit hammered out of our asses, because alot of us fell asleep during a lecture by a guest speaker.

"YOU FUCKING DISGRACE ! ARGHHHHHHHHHH DROPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"

8km fast march
Then we did a 8km fast march on Tuesday, which was really just totally mind blasting. I nearly died from that one. around 25kg of weight on your shoulders, and on top of that, a fucking machine gun - Holy Cow. And not only that, we were practically JOGGING the 8km, cause the pace was 1km every 10 minutes. SHITT~



8km conditioning run
Then we did a 8km conditioning run on Friday, which honestly, wasn't that hard (comparing to the 8km jog with 25kilos on your back, yeah, this is alot better). But, by friday we're all feeling a little bit of the shaggness kicking in, and our bodies were feeling a little bit fatigued and our gears a little bit rusty. So, yeah it was quite a challenge in its own.



Overall, this week is the most jam pack physically tiring week I've had so far. And it's taught me many things.

This week I learnt that there's strength in unity. Unity as a class, as a group, as a clique. There were so many times when I felt that I couldn't take the pain anymore. But on every occasion without fail, my buddies would be there to help me though the challenge. And when my buddies needed help, I would be there to give him my encouragement too.



Buddies
During the 8km road march we had on Tuesday, I was quite doubtful that I'd even complete it, given my back injury. By the 2km mark my back was starting to give way and i could feel a little bolt of pain going down from my back, to my legs. My buddy (Ivan) carried my field pack (25kg) for me for the next 2km !! THATS MY 25KG , ON TOP OF HIS 25KG, AND HIS MACHINE GUN , JOGGING FOR 2KM !! It was then when i realized that I'm not alone on the stage, that my buddies would be there for me, and it really touched me at that point.



When I'm doing some hellish long run, sometimes it gets the wind knocked right out of your my lungs, and I'm so dam shag, i feel like giving up. But i look to my left and to my right, i see my buddies going through the same hell as me, sharing the same pain as me, and they're not giving up, I find my motivation and i take another step forward. Yes, i find strength in unity :) !



Next week won't be any easier either. Next week is the final week of our land phase, so .. we're expecting a tough week next week. From then on, it'll be waterborne :) !! Boat PT , dives , timed sea swims, sea circuits (obstacle course) .. etc etc.

Awesome week

went for physiotherapy on Thursday at MMI (military medicine institute). They did ultrasound therapy followed by some electric current therapy thingy for my back injury, and taught me some stretches and strengthening exercises to work on every night (but I'm doing it at every opportunity lol.).

Honestly, physiotherapy is god's gift to man. I've been feeling ALOT better since my physiotherapy appointment 3 days ago. Yes, now I actually think I may be able to get over my back injury afterall. Of course, that's provided I'm extra careful not to aggravate it over the next few weeks.

This week was an awesome week. Its been so jammed pack with learning new things. yeah, we did a 4km fast march (FYI : it's RUNNING with 20kg of battle gears over your back, and a farking weapon in your hands, this is no joke .. seriously , i swear i thought my heart would stop pumping if i went any more).

Then we had a WHOLE DAY of swimming purely dedicated to perfecting our combat stroke, most likely to prepare us for our timed sea swims coming next month. (i thought my ankles were going to break from a whole day of fin swimming).

Then we had a WHOLE DAY of demolition, WHICH WAS FUCKING AWESOME I TELL YOU. it was really spectacular to experience the explosion first hand. I'm fucking privileged to have experienced this (like seriously, almost all other NSF wouldn't even get a chance do awesome shit like this). "30 seconds to detonation ! .. 5 .. 4 .. 3 .. 2 .. 1 .. BOOOOOOOOOOM!" "Fire in the hole, fire in the hole , fire in the hole !!" Fucking awesome hollywood shit i tell you !

Then we had Pilate class on one of our nights (yes, in camp). They hired a pilate instructor to come down and conduct pilate sessions for us. Gotta love em.

Then we had night time PT. which was really intense and crazy. I mean, which fucker does PT at 9pm ? -.- ..

This week was an awesome week for me.

Injury

This week's been a jammed pack busy week. Here's a preview of what my routine is like.

0500
Waking up. Getting up from bed is a bitch when you've only slept for 4 hours, and you're still feeling sore and tired from carrying load and running and doing PT. You can't help but be pissed off as you lift your head off the pillow. This is the part of the day where my buddy can ask me : " got toothpaste?" , and I may actually reply : " fuck you .. shut the fuck up -.- ". But we all understand that everybody's just too fucking tired.

2100 - 2230
End of one day of lessons. Of course, after 2230, you're busy doing you're homework for the next day. Packing your bags, studying for a theory test, polishing your boots, doing your laundry.

2359
Lights out. Sleep feeling like a bitch.


To be at home sleeping till the sun rises, its a real luxury that I've really come to appreciate on my precious weekends.

Anyway. I've been struggling with an injury to my lower back recently. I've got very limited range of motion (twisting and turning, bending forward and backward) around my core muscles. Got my xray results today, lucky for me, Doc says my injury is probably a muscle problem and nothing to do with slipped discs or spinal collapse or any shit like that.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be doing alot of stretching whenever i get the chance. And with a little miracle, maybe my condition will improve. We'll see in the coming weeks.

Till then, i'll be
Fighting with a broken body!

where I'm at, this quote is speaks it all.

A walk to remember

I've been reading a book. titled - A walk to remember. Its just sooo touching !! I've been thinking about it so much.

"""" Love is always patient and kind, It is never jealous
Love is never boastful or conceded
It is never rude , or selfish
It does not take offense, it is not resentful" - A walk to remember (the movie)

Pessimism

1st July 2010

After 10 weeks of crappy living, I'm now officially Private Gordon :) !

Next, I'll be undergoing Combat Diver training, which will put me through a physically and mentally challenging 4 month ordeal, which includes the boss, the grand finale, the famous "Hell Week" at the very end of the 4 months.

The hardest part of all this, is to stay motivated to complete the 4 months. Yes I want to be a diver. Like any other trainee, i think its cool .. its awesome .. its an interesting vocation, its glorious. But honestly, everyday is just a whole day of shit that pisses you off.

Let me give you an example. When someone fucks up, the whole platoon is made to roll in mud for hours, or someone fucks up, the whole platoon is made to run and touch a fence 200m away and come back in 1 minute (for hours at one go). - and yes, theres alot more fucked up and dumb punishments they got up their sleeves. It's just really frustrating at times.

At night, after a full day of shit, i lie down on my bed and close my eyes to have a moment with myself, and i ask myself if I'm looking forward to tomorrow, the honest answer is : no

I'm not looking forward to another day. Do you know what it feels like to sleep every night, with knowing that tomorrow's gonna be shittier? I mean, you've gotta be mentally retarded , if after getting fucked up by your instructors for a whole day, you're still look forward to having another day of training.

But yes, my fitness has improved a great deal since I joined the army. My 2.4km timed run (or 1.5miles) especially.

Before enlisting : 11m 20s
Week 2 : 9.46
week 7 9.53 (probably because i was not rested enough from the previous day)
week 9 : 9.36 (personal best !!)

Well, the requirement to meet is 9minutes and 14s. So you could say I'm slowly, but surely getting there. I told you, everyday in here is a day you push your limits one step higher. And as much as i enjoy being fit and all, I think I'm not handling the training program too well. Since I've started, I've aggravated my lower back injury (had it before enlisting), and now it seems like I've picked up an ankle strain, which i fucking don't know how it got there - i woke up one morning and it was like that ever since - Its a paradox, i feel myself becoming fitter, yet perhaps my body is breaking down at the same time. - haha

Anyway, I'll try not to be so pessimistic with this depressing post. I'm taking baby steps. One day at a time, one week at a time, clearing one obstacle at a time. And hopefully after 18 weeks, my mother will come up to me, and pin that badge on my chest on my graduation.

So its one step at a time.

Signing off, Private Gordon.

Alright, I've been typing, and deleting, and typing, and deleting because i cant find a suitable opening for this post. I wanted to talk about training and training and running and swimming and camp life. But yeah, its all been posted before.


I mean, what can i say ? Everyday in camp is just about running and swimming and push ups and sit ups and doing chin ups. In fact, I think im addicted to this lifestyle that's been painfully programmed into my neuro-systems. Saturdays and Sundays are supposed to be my rest days. But here I am, all my legs in my shorts, running in the sun and hitting the gym. I met some long lost buddies in the gym just now, and they went :" in camp train so much, now weekend still wanna train??? mad ah!" (hazwin and hazwan). And thats what got me thinking.


Okay, so I'm running around 9 minutes and 53 seconds for my 2.4km (or 1.5mile) timed run, which i think isnt too bad for a couch potato like me. My whole 19 years on this planet, I've never ran below 11 minutes and 20seconds, but here i am, just 2 months in the military and I'm already running below 10minutes. Anyway, the standard for 2.4km runs here is quite high. Most of my batch boys tell me they cant run for nuts. They say "awww i dont have the running genes." and "ohhh im not a runner. I totally suck". And well, they're good liars.


They run anywhere from 8minutes and 19 seconds, to 9minutes and 20 seconds on average. And hell that's fast. Thats sprinting the whole distance !! See? dont blame me for doing extra trainings on my days off . lol .


Everyday i sleep feeling tired and sore. Well im not complaining, instead, its a good sign really. Feeling tired and sore assures me that when i wake up the next morning, when the pain goes away, I'm a stronger person than i was the previous day. They say : pain is weakness leaving the body, and that statement definitely has some truth to it :) !

i quote the navy seals : The only easy day was yesterday. Because everyday here is a day of physical torture. Be it during physical training , or during our daily runs, or our pool swim, it always pushes your physical and mental limits one level further.

And while I'm getting physically and mentally stronger here every week, i lose a part of me that belongs to the outside world. Yes I've made brothers out of my friends in camp. Brothers that've been through the thick and thin by my side. But I can't help but feel that I'm drifting proportionally further from the things i've used to love.


I guess this is a transition, a new beginning. I hate beginnings. Because as i begin to write the next chapter in my life, I inevitably put an end to the previous chapter. I hate to say it. But i guess i'm drifting away from the old life i used to have. Taekwondo, friends, school, and you. Its sad, but thats the hard cold reality. It ain't always sunshine and rainbows everday.


I wish i could've made it clear earlier, the way i felt about you. But here i am moving on with my life, and there you are, moving on with yours perfectly the way it was. I came into your life for one short moment, and all that's left are my footprints, thats the reality of the situation. i guess you'll carry on with your life, oblivious to the feelings i kept inside me.

Think of me when you're out,
when you're out there
I'll beg you nice from my knees
And when the world treats you way too fairly
Well it's a shame I'm a dream
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you