Think you know all about yourself as you are now? Think again. Its interesting how a moment of insane suffering can show you a side of yourself you've never seen before. I'm not making this up. Put a man through suffering and his through colours will come out.

Me, I'm a whiner. When I'm suffering, all I'll do is bitch and whine about how fucked up the situation is. I'll scold my batch boys like fucking sluts, scream at them for the slightest lapse of concentration. But then again, as I learn more about this part of myself which I've never seen before,I try to make myself a better person. I try to reach into the diabolic core of my soul and make a 180 turn for the better. I've been through times where I'm just so fucking tired and frustrated, I don't wanna move from my seat to help out the rest of the team. But I've also had times where even though I'm sick and tired of this shit, i feel like screaming like i always do, but instead i shut the fuck up and sincerely try my very best to help the guys to my left and right get back on their feet and fight the Tsunami of shit flying our direction, to salvage the situation, no matter how hopeless it may seem.

I don't deny that I've got a fucking ugly side hidden somewhere deep in there (which most you guys haven't seen). But, I am who I am, and that ugly side defines me as much as anything else. I wont try to change myself. But as I understand this new side of me, I'll try my very best to be a better me.