Yeah you got me begging begging baby please don't go

If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here
I don't know
If you feel the way I do
If you leave I'm gonna find you
Baby please don't go go go go

Warrant Ang said this yesterday, and I thought I'd share it with you :

"An average Singaporean spends

24 years studying

the next 40 years working his ass like a mad dog

and the final 20 years dying."

Life is short, lets be happy and live it with laughter and joy with our loved ones, no time to waste being angry or sad :).

Speaking about time, I'm now 4 weeks away from graduation. On the 26th November, I'll jump the tower, and I'll have my shiny badge pinned on me. The last 6 months had been a roller coaster ride of emotions and physical transformation. This journey is about to draw to a close for me, and while I'm feeling happy and accomplished, I'm also feeling a sense of sadness. From timed runs, timed swims, fast march, boat PT, hellweek, field camp, me and my batch boys stood firm and fought it together. Soon, we won't be looking forward to conquering the next badass torture, but we'll be looking back on how we once endured together. These memories, I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. I'm proud to be a 33rd Batch diver. :) !

All that aside, I'm battling a groin injury. And I've got to clear my timed run and sea circuit within the next 4 weeks in order to graduate. All I'm hoping for is a speedy recovery so that I can resume training >.< ! If not .. All that I've stood for will count for nothing ): wish me a speedy recovery :(

Alright, i pulled some muscle in my groin during hell week. I may not be able to run right now, but i can certainly do .. STATIC PT :D :D :D.

Time waits for no one, it comes at you whether you like it or not, so when the time comes, you'd better be ready for it, because once the moment is gone, It ain't gonna make a U - turn and come round for you twice.

I don't know how to properly bring across my thoughts in words in this post.

Completing hell week is a massive achievement. It's in fact, the biggest achievement in my life so far. Only myself, and those who fought along side me during those hopeless moments can fully appreciate the magnitude of our achievement. If you've not done it with me, then you wouldn't understand it :).

I've matured a lot since April, and with my graduation in sight, I look forward to the next few months to come. But pretty soon, there won't be anything to look forward to, only good times to look back on. It is a bittersweet emotion, and a part of me doesn't want to draw a close to this chapter of my life. There may have been times where training just sucked big balls, and when we all felt like shit, but ironically, those were the good times. :)

Hellweek secured.

Flashback :

its 0130hrs, I'm sitting up on my bed with Chuang and Kian Yong, peeping out the window only to see a whole horde of instructors with automatic weapons and smoke bombs getting ready to let hell's fury out on us.

"Cheers brothers, see you back here in 5 days. No one gives up okay?" We said, as each held up a can of Red Bull, and drank the contents of it, savoring our last moment's of sanity together.

I put on my dry socks, my boots, and sat on my bed waiting for the gates of hell to open. Soon enough, SFX: *BOOOM*, and a whole load of firing and smaller thunderous explosions followed up. "FUCKING MUSTER NOW! MUSTER NOW! FUCKING HELL", and that was the last of my sanity.


Flashback :

its a dark night ( probably the 3rd night ), we're all running down the field, feet already badly blistered and soaking wet with foot rot. "you have 1 fucking minute to go touch the fence and get back here" - instructor X. We knew there were the injured amongst us who never stood a chance in making the unreasonable timing.

"Hey guys, fuck care him! we stick together, and finish the run together! don't be afraid! if we stick together, we have nothing to be afraid of! He can make us touch the fence as many times as he likes , but he won't break us! we fight this as a class! everybody grab your buddy and stay close! class come on!" - Ru Wen (our class IC). At that point, i realized one thing : That's the whole point of hell week. Its not about meeting unreasonable timings, or trying your best to meet the timing on your own, its about helping each other out, and being the one to lend your helping hand to someone else when he's in need of it. To be able to extend truly genuine help and expect nothing in return. To never leave your fallen comrade behind no matter how dire the situation may be, to always put your buddy's life ahead of your own.

At that moment, i knew 33rd batch had found something special in our hearts : team spirit - the faith that true strength lies in numbers and teamwork.


Flashback :

Its the last morning, theres' explosions everywhere, smoke grenades have fogged up the whole place, theres' hell load of whistles blowing, and hell lot more gun fire coming in all directions. we're running down the road with our IBS boats on our heads chasing instructor Y. We're tired as hell and we all know we can't keep this up for much longer, but this is our final moment of glory. Theres no giving up now, so we keep running even though we're all past our threshold.

"Help me! Helppppp!!!" - Brandon plead as he frantically struggled to keep the boat on his head. I ran out of my less strenous center spot on the boat, and took the weight from him.

"Here, quick go to the center! quick!" I said, relieving him from his pain in the temporal fractions of a second. And when it was my turn to call for help, Brandon was there to help me as well.

"Prepare to downboat ! .. Down boat !" , we put our boats down from our head carry position, and rushed to fall in infront of the parade square. After a long and inspiring speech, it finally came, the sentence we've all been waiting to hear : " 33rd batch, I hereby call a close on your Team Building Week!"

"HOOOOYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."



Present :

Hell week allowed me to realize the kind of person i really am, showed me where my strengths and weaknesses lay and where my limits really are. And it showed me who my buddies really are, and what we're capable of doing with teamwork :) and a never say die attitude.

Overall, I've got to say : I'm relieved.

I'm relieved for a fact that, the true me that came out of the nutshell in my moments of insanity and suffering, :

was a person who never gave up fighting no matter how dire the situation was, it was a person who kept pushing the limits, who kept encouraging his batch boys and boat mates, was a person who tried his best to point direction in our chaos, and tried put to make sense out of our confusion.

I'm relieved for a fact that I'm not a weakling who breaks down and cries in the face of insanity, but someone who goes in headstrong.


Boat 1

To be honest, I'd bet nobody expected boat 1 to be this strong. Before hell week, it was a common perception that boat 1 (smurf boat) was the weakest boat, well, at least physically. But in hellweek, we proved everyone wrong, when we came out first in the boat competitions, when we arrived first in our boat paddling race, when we finished strong and first in our hump runs. I'd say hellweek is 10% physical , and 90 % mental strength.

And i suppose that's why we were strong in hellweek. Even though our physical bodies were broken down, we stood as one, endured as one, and fought as one with our mental strength to come out on tops for so many times.

Job well done, hooya boat 1 !! :) !! I love my smurf boat X) !!

We are the bold
United souls
We live to win another victory
Our sacred scars
Show who we are

And tell the story of our memories

I've dug my grave, I've said my prayers, now I'm standing outside the gates of hell, waiting for it to open in just 53 hours time. When Sunday morning comes, I'll be in the fighting the biggest battle of my life : Hell - week.

The admins' been done, the logistics' been prepared, the plannings' done, there's no backing out now. Its just me, my inner motivation, and my buddies. Together, we'll charge through the realms of hell and come back out alive. 68 men in, 68 men out.

We are the bold
United souls
We live to win another victory
Our sacred scars
Show who we are
And tell the story of our memories

Don't be afraid
It's the price we pay
The only easy day was yesterday
So hear our voice
We have a choice
It's time to face it

We are one
We will stand together
Number one
The chosen ones
We are one
We will fight forever
We are one and we won't tire

Seize the day

In a few hour's time, I'm going back to camp for another week of Hooya! The past few week's been quite tormenting (physically and mentally). Theres the days when I don't get enough sleep, where I wake up and all I wanna do is just lay on my bed and rest, theres been days where I'm so shagged out, I don't even feel like the bowl of shitty lunch sitting infront of me.

I try and tell myself, everyday I don't train 100 percent, someone else is. Every chance I let slip pass me, someone else is making good use of it. So no matter how tired I am, with all my might, I give it my best shot. But, its not always so picture perfect, and there are times when I give in to the weight of the training, because I'm only human.

If there's one thing this place has taught me, it's taught me to seize the day.

10/10/10. Hellweek

Hellweek dawns upon the boys of 33rd Batch CDC. On the 10/10/10 (10th October 2010), we'll stand firm on the grounds of hell, we'll endure it as one, and after 5 days of war, we'll march out the gates of hell victorious, afterall, we're rough and rugged bunch of warriors yeah, Hooya!

Pain is pain; you can't fully describe it, you can only feel it. - Sicheng