Generally, I'm not a quitter. Let me just say that, I'm a person who knows what I want. When I set a goal for myself, I will work to get there.

(Like when i set a goal to get an unrealistic B for math, I ACTUALLY DID IT. WTF LOL. - not without lots of studying obviously, must gimme some credit there xD)

Today, I know what my next goal is. I want to become a naval diver. I know its not going to be easy, and i can already smell the tough times cooking ahead. But I wont give up and let myself down (: .

Period.

Excellence

Excellence–noun, the fact or state of excelling; superiority; eminence

If its one thing being in JJ Taekwondo has taught me , its excellence. every time i throw out a kick or go for a run, its in the pursuit of excellence. But I don't think I'll ever achieve excellence, because as i improve, my expectations of myself increase. But that's what excellence is all about isn't it? : to constantly improve and exceed your own expectations.

I remember once during a taekwondo camp we had in changi, our coach brought us out for one gruelling long run (the longest i had till that point). And after finishing the run, he told us that we just covered 18km. I was SHELL-SHOCKED, i far exceeded my own expectations. I cant even cover a good 2.4km , and here i just finished 18 km, this day was the turning point for the things to come in my life, because it reformed my perception about the line where i thought my physical and mental limits were, and that's why i signed up for the 42km sundown marathon the very next month, to test the very core of my soul's limits. And i surprised myself when i finished that 42km too. And from there on, i understood what excellence is: to constantly keep trying and improve beyond your own expectations.

Today, i still cannot finish 2.4km in 10 minutes. But i can definitely juice out a 10k or a 15k (given enough time that is). Moral of the post ? : Most of us, we're stronger than we think we actually are. you just have to give yourself a chance to prove to yourself / ( or in simple terms, to get out of your comfort zone and try )

Also, i dont think i'm exceptionally good or gifted in the art of taekwondo. There are somethings i just don't understand. Take for example a back hook, or a 540 back hook, I couldn't do it the first time round, and i still cant do it right today, yet i've seen people who can grasp the technique within 2 or 3 hours of learning it. But today, i can throw a turning kick 100times better than what i used to do 2 years ago when i just joined the club. Why?, its not because i had a god given talent, but because it didn't come without hard work. Most importantly, it didn't come without learning excellence.

I wont be where i am today if it weren't for the club. (:

happy birthday to me. thanks for the wishes people. The bunch friends I have are the awesome-est lot.

Just my thoughts : sometimes the people that you'd expect to be able to put themselves in your shoes and totally understand you the best, to know what you're thinking, your thoughts, your actions. Sometimes, ironically, They're the lot that sometimes seem so dam fucking far away from you.

Robin Van Persie is as good as Wanye Rooney, easily better than him, if he had not broken his leg this season.

If you do not believe you can do it, then you have no chance at all
- Arsene Wenger

S9115233I , your enlistment date is 28/04/2010. Your reporting unit is NAVAL DIVING HEADQUARTERS. Msg from CMPB.

as if I'll forget to turn up. -_-. faggy msg.

bad habit, bad day, bad injury

Saturday 17th April 2010.

I knew it. I just felt it coming, but I carried on anyway. I shouldn't have gone for taekwondo today. I fucked something in my back during training just now. All i did was turning kicks, no back hook no 540 kick, and i still managed to pick up a back injury. (but those were some hard core turning kicks xP). This is one of my bad habits. I cannot bring myself to skip training. I just cant. Even if i have a strain, blisters, sore throat or whatever shit, I must train, because somewhere out there , someone's better than me, and someone's training harder than me. They say, if you really want something, then make no excuses, go out and get it, that's what i try to do in taekwondo, but sometimes i wonder if I'm over doing myself.Sometimes i wish i could just sit back and take some time off to let my body recover from all the hammering i put it through, but i cant, i really cant bring myself to do it, blame me for being hyper determined and hyper motivated.

this is my bad habit,
this is my bad habit.

Its bad, my back. I cannot sit properly, I cannot stand properly, I can only lie down and hope nothing's torn or broken. I went for acupuncture yesterday, and got 5 needles stuck into my back. The acupuncture-ist (or whatever she's called) then put some cotton or something on the top of each metal needle, and set em on fire. It was a terrifying and electrifying (literally) experience really. The heat from the burning fuel travelled down the metal needle and right into my back, which was really numbing and scary.

After the therapy session which lasted for 45 minutes, with needles on fire on my back, I'm sad to say that I'm still fucked up. Its not that it didnt work. It did (i think), its just, maybe 20 percent less painful than before ( which is still mother - ****ing painful anyway ).

So what does my back injury mean ? It means I'm practically ruled out for the rest of my 11 days of civilian life before going into the army. It means I cannot go running, I cannot go swimming, I cannot go for taekwondo, and I cannot hit the gym in the next 10 days.

Please, I pray that nothing's severely fucked in my lower back. This is probably the worst time to pick up an injury in my back. I can only hope I recover in time before enlisting. Just a few days ago i was thinking about ways to push myself over the limits and cut down my 2.4km timing. Now? now im thinking about how fucked up I'm going to be if i dont recover in 10 days time.

ok, enough of the unfortunate happenings fucking up my life. Heres one for the laughs.

Desperation

Today I did an interval run. For all you folks who don't know what an interval run is, its basically pushing yourself to your limits, sustaining for as long as you can, then rest, and repeat the process 3 or 4 times. In other words, its a very tiring -SPRINT-WALK-SPRINT- type of thing. I read articles that this type of training helps improve your 2.4km timing (aerobic fitness) because it helps ur heart to get used to higher intensities when you run at a faster pace.

(If you look at the graph, my heartrate sky rockets each time i start my sprint, and then drops during the intervals.)

Honestly, I'm desperate to try anything that will help shave even Milli seconds off my 2.4km timing in the next 12 days. So today I pushed myself at 150 % effort and 200% focus into my run today. The after effect? Even 20 minutes after i stopped running, I'm literally still DRIPPING sweat from my eyebrows, chin and finger tips. Prolly because of the fact that i was running at around 180 - 189 beats per minute (number of heartbeats per min , measured w my watch xD) , which translates to -

A) either you're on the verge of fainting, or

B) you're terribly out of breath and your body is urging you to stop the torture.

When I say my 2.4km timing SUCKS BALLS, its one of the things in I'm dead serious about. Alot of peeps give me the "ah who you trying to kid, you done 42km and you cant run 2.4km?". But in reality this is seriously not the case at all. Yes I've done some really bad ass tiring races like that stretch for 42km or 21km, but thing is, in a 42km race, you're going for sustainability. What you try to do, is run at a comfortable pace, and try and sustain that pace for as long as you can, so if you want a better timing, you've just got to train harder before the race to make sure your body can sustain a faster speed at a comfortable pace. However in a 2.4km timing when the clock is ticking against you, say you want to finish in 9 or 10 minutes, then you've got to run at a very fast pace, and to some people ( especially me ), that kind of pace is neither comfortable, nor sustainable. SO F**K 2.4KM.

So, if you've got a routine that improved your 2.4km timing, please share it with me on MSN .. XD.

Hello blog. I haven't paid much attention to my blog for the past month because I've been busy busy busy. Well, not really. Just Last week I was strolling Ueno Park admiring the majestic views of the cherry blossom trees in full bloom. It was 12 degrees Celsius and the air was thin and cool. Now, I'm miserable and I'm sitting here in 28 degrees hot humid Singapore.

Anyway, I'm reaching a big milestone in my life in exactly 2 weeks time. Yes, you guessed it, I'm going into the army xD. On 28th April I'm closing the chapter on childhood (youth is a transition) and opening the doors of adulthood (aiya they say army makes you a man and all that shit .. blah blah, you get what i mean.) Frankly speaking I'm hyped up and excited, in fact, I cant wait to enlist. I'm done waiting. I've waited for 4 months already. I mean, how many times in your life do you get to go diving for free xD. They call divers Frogmen in the navy. On 28th April I become a tadpole man, by the end of 2010, I become almighty FROGMAN. (if i dont drop out of the dive school that is.)

This is January.
12 years ago, she showed up at my doorstep on the 14th floor.
I dont know how she got there
Maybe fate put her there for my family
I've watched her
eat and sleep, grow and play, bite me and bite strangers, pee and poop
she was there for me when I was down and out, sad and lost
but now I'm watching her bump into chairs and walls
I'm watching her sleep 22 hours a day
I'm watching her health deteriorate
I'm watching her cough in the middle of the night
I'm watching her age.
can you imagine how it feels to watch something
move further away from you every passing day? when its just beside you?