Friends

Just this week, I was having a conversation with my friends with regards to friendship. In light of randomness, my friend blurted out, "Actually, I am quite a loner." after posting some questions to another buddy. At that instance, I had a eureka moment lol. I think that friends these days are so hard to keep. It is not because we all are superficial, pragmatic, non-relational creatures - in fact I think we are the opposite - but because we live in such a fast-paced society that our friends and social circle change when we move on to different life stations. I think it is inevitable, but sad at the same time. Often or so, I have so many relationship that I wished did not drift but nurtured.

- From Pete's blog

Happy new year (again) !

Happy Chinese New Year ! HUATTTTTTTT AH.

Anyway, I'm writing this post because I Thought I'd share this little thought that's been itching at the back of my head for some time now.

Have you ever looked back at a moment in your life, in your youth when you had no responsibilities, just spread your wings after school and do whatever you want. Or back to the times where you'd just lie on the sofa waiting for your mother to bring breakfast to you. Or the times when the adult asks you "what do you wanna be next time?" and you tell them something audacious like an astronaut or a billionaire (maybe) ? Well just this afternoon when I visited my younger cousin's house, I had such a thought.

I'm turning 20 this year, and my sis, mid 20-ish (not nice to reveal her age right ! lol). Time flies, it seemed like yesterday when my mother was giving me 4 bucks a day pocket money for school. And when I raise my head and look forward, I think about all the things thats going to change in the next 5 years.

• I'm going to have to become financially independent.
• I'm going to need a game plan (yeah, my draft for making my next million dollars ain't gonna write itself out)
  
• I'm going to need to support my mother *like every other filial son*
• I'm going to need to invest in myself - I'm my greatest asset. I need skills, a second language, a sport at the professional level, entrepreneurship skills, buisness skills, IT skills - I'VE GOT NONE LOL !
• I'm going to need to think about what I wanna spend the rest of my life doing. (A Job)

God dam it's a tough world out there, and if I could, I wanna just reverse time and go back to living a life with no responsibilities, no worries, just living it day by day. But that's not going to happen. And this year, I'll be thinking about my future all year round.

Well thank god I'll have until 27Feb 2012 to come up with my rescue package. But for now, its just a long and slow wait till I .. ORD. :)

Hello 2011 , Bye bye 2010 !

Happy new year folks ! Alright, I'm not really in the mood to write anything right now, so I'll get straight to the point and buzz out.

From my A-level results, to enlistment, hell week .. graduation. Looking back, this year had been 2010 was the toughest and most emotional year so far for me. 2010 gave me the greatest highs, and banished me to the lowest moments in my life.

This year, more than ever, I control the direction of my life. I'll learn to live with greater responsibilities on the weight of my shoulders, make better decisions, and be more matured.

As I launch 2010 into the archives of my memories, I open up a new chapter in my life where I hope I'd be able to :

1. Complete the Adidas Sundown 42km under 5hrs
2. Complete the Standard Chartered 42km.
3. Get my driver's license
4. Go for a leisure diving trip with my friends.
5. Complete my SSDC (special skills diving course) smoothly and become a clearance diver.
6. Get fitter, run farther, swim faster and fight harder.
   
7. Make it a point to learn a new subject in my free time
8. Save more and spend less money.
9. Keep my friendship fired up with all my buddies who're going separate ways to UDG, and JJ taekwondo. (Somehow, the word taekwondo doesn't exsist in my computer's dictionary. The replacement for it ? - Wonderbra .. wtf -_-)
   

Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude , But tonight I'm fucking you.

Enrique Iglesias .. only he could say that.

Running

Running can be so addictive (of course, except when you're running your lungs and intestines haywire in 2.4km or timed 6km runs). Just get the right pair of shoes, plug in your ipod with your philips sports earphones, let the music play and let your feet take control.

Somedays, I feel good. I feel like I could go on and on forever, I feel like my wiring's been messed up, as though the new nerve center of my body is way below, in my feet. instead of me controlling where they go, they take me wherever they want to go. The spirit of exploration and a sense of appreciation for the scenic great outdoors can really make your run an addictive experience. And the music? The music makes the whole experience the sex.

The last 2 days I've had those kinds of runs. Yesterday, I decided to go for my usual 5km run, and I ended up doing around 8km. Today, I decided to go for the same run, to relive that addictive sense of mobility and freedom, and sure enough, I ended up doing 11km !

Running, though I'm not very good at it, I've come to understand why people are so in love with this sport, (though, i really dislike running in NDU, cause every time i put on my running shoes there, i'll be running as though I'm trying to escape a zombie Apocalypse, and that's very different from the kind of run I'm talking about here LOL.)

All I can do is train harder, get tougher, and try to be a better person. Then maybe, someday you'll see something in me :)

Thanks to all my family and friends who came to share my special moment with me.

Its been a tough 7 months.

From my medical assessment,
to my vocational assessment,
to the interview,
to recieving my enlistment letter,
to enlistment,
field camp,
final mission,
route march,
fast march,
SIT test,
BEEP test,
diver fitness test,
IPPT ( the least of my worries lol.),
Timed runs,
Sea swims,
Sea Circuits,
scuba diving,
O2 diving,
boat PT,
Boat paddling
.. team building week

Shit, I've endured one roller coaster ride of emotions. Every day of this journey feels like it's been etched into my mind. Down the road, I can just imagine myself, digging out the 33rd Batch's Hell week photo, and I'll tell my son, "yeah, those were some unforgettable crazy times !!" And I'll tell him about each and every person in the class. We may not necessarily get along well with each other all the time. We may hate each other sometimes, we may fight among ourselves sometimes, but without realizing it, we share a very special bond. A bond that cannot be forged under normal conditions .. one that's different from any bond we'll ever have in this life again .. its a bond that's forged through rough and rugged times, through hell week, through a living hell.


But here I am today, standing at the finish line feeling satisfied. Whether all this training has made me a different person or not, I don't know, you decide.

All i know, is that now that I've earned my share of glory (like the people who've gone down the same path before me), I've got a responsibility to live up to the name of the Naval Diver. I won't let myself be any less tired every night, because that's the life here .. ITS HARDCORE !

It doesn't matter how good or bad your character is, or how fucked up that your are. Because at the end of the day, if he's fitness is better than yours, he'll pass out, and you won't.

Yeah you got me begging begging baby please don't go

If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here
I don't know
If you feel the way I do
If you leave I'm gonna find you
Baby please don't go go go go

Warrant Ang said this yesterday, and I thought I'd share it with you :

"An average Singaporean spends

24 years studying

the next 40 years working his ass like a mad dog

and the final 20 years dying."

Life is short, lets be happy and live it with laughter and joy with our loved ones, no time to waste being angry or sad :).

Speaking about time, I'm now 4 weeks away from graduation. On the 26th November, I'll jump the tower, and I'll have my shiny badge pinned on me. The last 6 months had been a roller coaster ride of emotions and physical transformation. This journey is about to draw to a close for me, and while I'm feeling happy and accomplished, I'm also feeling a sense of sadness. From timed runs, timed swims, fast march, boat PT, hellweek, field camp, me and my batch boys stood firm and fought it together. Soon, we won't be looking forward to conquering the next badass torture, but we'll be looking back on how we once endured together. These memories, I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. I'm proud to be a 33rd Batch diver. :) !

All that aside, I'm battling a groin injury. And I've got to clear my timed run and sea circuit within the next 4 weeks in order to graduate. All I'm hoping for is a speedy recovery so that I can resume training >.< ! If not .. All that I've stood for will count for nothing ): wish me a speedy recovery :(

Alright, i pulled some muscle in my groin during hell week. I may not be able to run right now, but i can certainly do .. STATIC PT :D :D :D.

Time waits for no one, it comes at you whether you like it or not, so when the time comes, you'd better be ready for it, because once the moment is gone, It ain't gonna make a U - turn and come round for you twice.

I don't know how to properly bring across my thoughts in words in this post.

Completing hell week is a massive achievement. It's in fact, the biggest achievement in my life so far. Only myself, and those who fought along side me during those hopeless moments can fully appreciate the magnitude of our achievement. If you've not done it with me, then you wouldn't understand it :).

I've matured a lot since April, and with my graduation in sight, I look forward to the next few months to come. But pretty soon, there won't be anything to look forward to, only good times to look back on. It is a bittersweet emotion, and a part of me doesn't want to draw a close to this chapter of my life. There may have been times where training just sucked big balls, and when we all felt like shit, but ironically, those were the good times. :)

Hellweek secured.

Flashback :

its 0130hrs, I'm sitting up on my bed with Chuang and Kian Yong, peeping out the window only to see a whole horde of instructors with automatic weapons and smoke bombs getting ready to let hell's fury out on us.

"Cheers brothers, see you back here in 5 days. No one gives up okay?" We said, as each held up a can of Red Bull, and drank the contents of it, savoring our last moment's of sanity together.

I put on my dry socks, my boots, and sat on my bed waiting for the gates of hell to open. Soon enough, SFX: *BOOOM*, and a whole load of firing and smaller thunderous explosions followed up. "FUCKING MUSTER NOW! MUSTER NOW! FUCKING HELL", and that was the last of my sanity.


Flashback :

its a dark night ( probably the 3rd night ), we're all running down the field, feet already badly blistered and soaking wet with foot rot. "you have 1 fucking minute to go touch the fence and get back here" - instructor X. We knew there were the injured amongst us who never stood a chance in making the unreasonable timing.

"Hey guys, fuck care him! we stick together, and finish the run together! don't be afraid! if we stick together, we have nothing to be afraid of! He can make us touch the fence as many times as he likes , but he won't break us! we fight this as a class! everybody grab your buddy and stay close! class come on!" - Ru Wen (our class IC). At that point, i realized one thing : That's the whole point of hell week. Its not about meeting unreasonable timings, or trying your best to meet the timing on your own, its about helping each other out, and being the one to lend your helping hand to someone else when he's in need of it. To be able to extend truly genuine help and expect nothing in return. To never leave your fallen comrade behind no matter how dire the situation may be, to always put your buddy's life ahead of your own.

At that moment, i knew 33rd batch had found something special in our hearts : team spirit - the faith that true strength lies in numbers and teamwork.


Flashback :

Its the last morning, theres' explosions everywhere, smoke grenades have fogged up the whole place, theres' hell load of whistles blowing, and hell lot more gun fire coming in all directions. we're running down the road with our IBS boats on our heads chasing instructor Y. We're tired as hell and we all know we can't keep this up for much longer, but this is our final moment of glory. Theres no giving up now, so we keep running even though we're all past our threshold.

"Help me! Helppppp!!!" - Brandon plead as he frantically struggled to keep the boat on his head. I ran out of my less strenous center spot on the boat, and took the weight from him.

"Here, quick go to the center! quick!" I said, relieving him from his pain in the temporal fractions of a second. And when it was my turn to call for help, Brandon was there to help me as well.

"Prepare to downboat ! .. Down boat !" , we put our boats down from our head carry position, and rushed to fall in infront of the parade square. After a long and inspiring speech, it finally came, the sentence we've all been waiting to hear : " 33rd batch, I hereby call a close on your Team Building Week!"

"HOOOOYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."



Present :

Hell week allowed me to realize the kind of person i really am, showed me where my strengths and weaknesses lay and where my limits really are. And it showed me who my buddies really are, and what we're capable of doing with teamwork :) and a never say die attitude.

Overall, I've got to say : I'm relieved.

I'm relieved for a fact that, the true me that came out of the nutshell in my moments of insanity and suffering, :

was a person who never gave up fighting no matter how dire the situation was, it was a person who kept pushing the limits, who kept encouraging his batch boys and boat mates, was a person who tried his best to point direction in our chaos, and tried put to make sense out of our confusion.

I'm relieved for a fact that I'm not a weakling who breaks down and cries in the face of insanity, but someone who goes in headstrong.


Boat 1

To be honest, I'd bet nobody expected boat 1 to be this strong. Before hell week, it was a common perception that boat 1 (smurf boat) was the weakest boat, well, at least physically. But in hellweek, we proved everyone wrong, when we came out first in the boat competitions, when we arrived first in our boat paddling race, when we finished strong and first in our hump runs. I'd say hellweek is 10% physical , and 90 % mental strength.

And i suppose that's why we were strong in hellweek. Even though our physical bodies were broken down, we stood as one, endured as one, and fought as one with our mental strength to come out on tops for so many times.

Job well done, hooya boat 1 !! :) !! I love my smurf boat X) !!

We are the bold
United souls
We live to win another victory
Our sacred scars
Show who we are

And tell the story of our memories

I've dug my grave, I've said my prayers, now I'm standing outside the gates of hell, waiting for it to open in just 53 hours time. When Sunday morning comes, I'll be in the fighting the biggest battle of my life : Hell - week.

The admins' been done, the logistics' been prepared, the plannings' done, there's no backing out now. Its just me, my inner motivation, and my buddies. Together, we'll charge through the realms of hell and come back out alive. 68 men in, 68 men out.

We are the bold
United souls
We live to win another victory
Our sacred scars
Show who we are
And tell the story of our memories

Don't be afraid
It's the price we pay
The only easy day was yesterday
So hear our voice
We have a choice
It's time to face it

We are one
We will stand together
Number one
The chosen ones
We are one
We will fight forever
We are one and we won't tire

Seize the day

In a few hour's time, I'm going back to camp for another week of Hooya! The past few week's been quite tormenting (physically and mentally). Theres the days when I don't get enough sleep, where I wake up and all I wanna do is just lay on my bed and rest, theres been days where I'm so shagged out, I don't even feel like the bowl of shitty lunch sitting infront of me.

I try and tell myself, everyday I don't train 100 percent, someone else is. Every chance I let slip pass me, someone else is making good use of it. So no matter how tired I am, with all my might, I give it my best shot. But, its not always so picture perfect, and there are times when I give in to the weight of the training, because I'm only human.

If there's one thing this place has taught me, it's taught me to seize the day.

10/10/10. Hellweek

Hellweek dawns upon the boys of 33rd Batch CDC. On the 10/10/10 (10th October 2010), we'll stand firm on the grounds of hell, we'll endure it as one, and after 5 days of war, we'll march out the gates of hell victorious, afterall, we're rough and rugged bunch of warriors yeah, Hooya!

Pain is pain; you can't fully describe it, you can only feel it. - Sicheng

At the end of the day, the team is only as strong as the weakest man.

"God bless us everyone. We're a broken people living under loaded gun. And it can't be outfoght. It can't be outdone. It can't out matched. It can't be outrun"

"God save us everyone, Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns?For the sins of our hand. The sins of our tongue. The sins of our father. The sins of our young"

-Linkin Park, The Catalyst

I nearly lost my mind in the jungles this week. It was like, trying to cling on to whatever bit of sanity left in my soul. I swear I nearly died. At the start of this course, I knew it'll be tough and difficult, but I never imagined I would lose my sanity every week. Now, I don't even care anymore - do what you want to me, I just want to see my friends and family on my weekends, if not, I'll go crazy.

Anyway, I'm running the army half marathon on Sunday. xD, I'm quite excited about that, even though I'm tired as hell right now.

My sony MP3 headphones broke down yesterday ): and the 6th Gen ipod nano only hits the shelves next week. ):

Anyway, this week was rather tiring (well, every week is kinda tiring, but this week was a burn out). I can feel a little bit of fatigue kicking in, we get tired so easily these days. Probably cause we've been building up our training program for next week's 21km half marathon. We've been going at nearly 15 - 20km mileage every week. Uphill sprints, endurance runs, speed intervals, you name it.

We did some crazy pool snorkeling this week, and I've got to say as trainees, most of the time, we're out breath - yeah, even on land x) ! - But its crazy how long you can really actually go without air underwater, never thought I'd be able hold my breath for so long before.

Somebody please buy me a 6G ipod nano XD,
its awesomeeeeeee

33rd Batch Sluts
As the weeks go by, i feel like we're slowly maturing as a batch. We're no longer the same people we were when we enlisted. Today, we've grown alot stronger, tougher, and faster. Though we aren't really there yet, we'll get our act together slowly, and when Hellweek dawns upon us, we'll be ready for it. Boat smurfs will be ready for it, I'll be ready for it.

just for laughs